blog.

Knocked Sideways Part 1

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

We’ve hit a road block. A small one that could be the big one. Somethings come up in our paperwork. Something we didn’t see coming but that something could be the end of our Haitian dreams. Each country is so particular in what they will and won’t allow, who they will approve and reject. I’m…

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By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

Thursday, December 1st 2016.  We can look to our future with courage because our future is Christ.  -she reads truth advent study 2016  I’m having a hard time reconciling the idea that all of those years as a child spent pretending that I had a black adopted son were actually holy. It’s a weird concept…

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Stalemate 

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

I spend a good piece of my morning quiet time praying for clarity on our adoption, clear answers on Gods calling for us in this area, praying against the spirit of confusion. Then I checked my Instagram like I always do and this is one of the first posts that shows up.    Our next…

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If not us, then who? 

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

If not us then who?  I asked myself this question for years.  I said it out loud to God  in July in 2015.   If not us the who will raise a pair of parent less children? Who will teach them about Jesus and a mothers love?  If not us then who?  I have to…

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It feels exactly the same and completely different. 

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

It’s funny how this feels exactly the same and completely different. It’s deciding to have more children. Point blank those are the logistics. Of course there is more and a massive emotional component. But at the ground floor, it’s if we want and can we raise more kids? I feel like we are having conversations…

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4:30 on October 30th

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

At 4:30 pm on October 30, 2016 I submitted our official application to adopt from Haiti to All Gods Children International.   Hopefully we will hear back rather quickly about whether or not we can pursue the twins we saw online.   Knowing that if they are ours, they are already ours. God knows. We…

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I’m scared.  

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

April 16, 2916 and I’m scared. Adoption is the biggest ask of Fair God has ever asked if me. And I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m not really hearing Gods voice. I’m scared that I will ruin my family. I’m scared that I will have too many kids and not be the great mother I…

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I hugged his jacket 

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

I hugged my first piece of clothing today. I was doing laundry and somehow one of Bo’s old fleece jackets was in the dryer. I noticed how small it was and read the tag, it said 18-24 months. I reached for the goodwill bin where I toss all of our too small clothes and stopped…

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Holy home Study!

By Sarah Benson / March 21, 2017 /

Just finished the Home Study phone call to run though everything…. holy overwhelmed. It’s so much information and paperwork. I keep saying “holy homestudy!”  And maybe this actually is holy? Maybe this hard because Gods will is so often hard? Maybe this hurts and we delve into our deepest pieces of our lives because the…

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Do Not Let Me Be Scared Out Of Your Will. 

By Sarah Benson / February 2, 2017 /

March 21, 2016. “Do not let me be scared out of your will” That is me right now. It’s not that I think brining home more children is outside of Gods will for us, it’s just paralyzingly terrifying. Yesterday, on the first Day of Spring 2016, I sent an inquiry email to an adoption agency. I…

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