Caught up

Caught up

I am caught up.

Caught up in my pregnancy. Caught up in my worries, my fears, my anxieties, my hopes and dreams, my symptoms, my back pain, cellulite and spider veins.

I mull over my hurt feelings, my emotions, my relationships, the changes happening to me.

The common thread in all of this is me. Just me. Not us, not he, not we. ME.

When all along I have this hot husband who, too, is about to become a parent for the first time and I can hardly tell you what he feels, thinks, or fears. I have been so caught up in me, in my pregnancy that I have neglected the WE.

With all of my heart I don’t want to be that wife or that mom. The mom who only knows her kids and hardly knows her husband anymore. The wife who spends most of her mental energies picking apart the irritants or the things not done rather than acknowledging the good things done, the kind words or the help given. Our minds have a tendency to drift towards the negative, to believe the bad over the good and it is an individual responsibility to choose what you let your mind dwell on. And clearly, as of late I have not been ta
king this responsibility seriously enough.

And it has to start changing now. I have to remember that the reason I am with child is because of our decision to become a we. I want to strive to keep my marriage a top priority. I remember during our pre-marital sessions we were taught that in life your priorities should go God, your marriage, your children.

I don’t know how to do that and our first baby isn’t even here yet! I’m going to be honest, I don’t know how hard this is going to get. I can only imagine how much more difficult this is going to become once I am actually holding my little bundle of baby in my arms and as we become busier and more sleep deprived than we have ever been.

But I am going to try.

I’m going to try starting right now.

In honor of my fresh commitment I am listing for you the top ten best things about the man I married.

1- I respect him. He is a man of his word who stands strong for what he feels and believes.

2- He is as loyal as they come. He has friends almost everywhere we go and they all tell me, when he’s not around, what a great guy he is.

3-He strives for better. He is not one to sit on his laurels and stay stagnant. He like to push himself to meet new goals and exceed the ones he’s already met.
4. He is sexy! His shoulders, his back, and of course those “Best Buns of ’91 are still doin’ the trick. Add to that his blue eyes and dimple and I’m sunk.

5. He is going to make a great Dad. He is going to be one of those Dad’s who is wonderfully protective of our kids while letting them get ruffed up a bit and play in the dirt. I know he will find the balance between keeping an eye on our children and keeping me calm when I have the urge to over protect.

6. He is the type of provider that makes me feel safe. Because he do

es what he does so well and with such commitment I am able to have the gift of being a stay at home mom. This affords us the ability to raise our children ourselves with the values and the hearts that we want to instill in them, without having to struggle with the costs of daycare and influences we may not agree with or do not believe our children are ready for.

7. He is a wonderful husband who has never given me a reason to worry that he might stray. If I’m worried in the middle of the nights its for his safety, not about some other random girl. I consider this to be a huge gift to be that comes straight out o

f his solid character.

8. He is willing to learn, grow, and change. Even if its hard. I am so impressed by his commitment to meeting with other Godly men, getting up early to read and his journey to knowing Jesus in a new way.

9. He is trustworthy. I trust him. I believe what he says and trust h

im completely.

10. He loves me like I’ve never been loved before.


I am proud to be with him.

4 Comments

  1. Julie on August 13, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Good stuff, Sarah. Way to go, in committing to it now. Isn't it crazy how suddenly its a 'we' thing instead of a 'me' thing…wait until the kid gets here…than its really not about 'me'! 😉 Not going to paint the perfect picture here…It is hard. It does get harder. You just have to be ridiculously intentional about your relationship. That saying, we haven't always been so intentional. We have 'on' weeks and 'off' weeks but the bottom line is we know that underlying the 'ugly' and the 'off' is the fact that we love each other madly. We have come to accept the season we are in as crazy but realize we have to work our tails off to remember the 'madly' part. You guys are an awesome couple, will be great parents, and God's blessing is on your marriage. Praying for you in this new season. It is a hard one, but it is also so GOOD!!

  2. StevieZ and The Funkybunchâ„¢ on August 14, 2009 at 2:39 am

    Maybe it's due to the incredibly long day/week I am in but reading this actually made me tear up…seriously and I am not ashamed to admit it. Your blogs of late have been my most favorite thing to read each day, but this one has to be my favorite. I love you guys so much and you both are going to be such wonderful parents to Baby B, I am only sad in the fact that I am living so far away from you all! I pray for the 3 of you and the two stepbrothers everyday.

  3. DeLane & Kevin on August 14, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    what a beautifully honest blog. wonderful writing my friend. xxoo D

  4. CulyQFun on August 17, 2009 at 2:58 am

    The mere fact that you are aware of this and trying to change is a step in the right direction.

    God will honor this! And Daren will feel so appreciated.
    Keep up the good work. And make sure you tell him these things on ocassionally. He needs to hear them from you.

    Love your honesty.

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